Elias One Shot
by death mega sega
Summary: A random one shot I wrote of Elias and Max. Elias and Max are sitting in the living room when Max decides to bring up an topic that Elias feels uncomfortable with. Please R&R!


_**One Shot**_

_**11/22/2012 Deathy:**_ Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all enjoy this tale!

[][][][][][

Elias Acorn sat in his living room. He had been kicked out of his kitchen for the remainder of the day. Tomorrow was a special day for everyone. It was a day to give thanks and stuff your face. Elias just called it 'Christmas without the gifts' as he had dubbed it as a toddler. He knew it wasn't. It was a lot more. But he'd be condemned if he gave up the childish name he bestowed it.

Megan, Sally, and Alicia were all in the kitchen preparing for tomorrow's feast. Elias had offered to help cook, but Megan, his loving wife, pushed him out of the kitchen. She had learned the hard way that her darling husband, although his intentions were good, could not cook. Elias had told her he could cook the first Easter they spent together. She thought she won the lottery and allowed him to cook the roast. Elias had somehow managed to set the kitchen a blaze and broke the stove. Sadly, the squirrel's definition of cooking was making a sandwich. Megan hadn't let Elias attempt to cook ever again. The poor king wasn't even allowed to touch the toaster.

Elias stared down at his baby girl. Alexis was happily playing in the floor. She was chewing on a bright goldish-yellow ring that Amy had given her. Well, Alexis kind of stole it from Amy, but the pink hedgehog didn't mind. His father, Max, was sitting next to him in a wheel chair. Max was a little bonkers, and everyone knew it. But after all the stuff the former king went through, no one blamed him for being a few croutons short of a salad. Max watched his grand-daughter. She was very cute and sweet. She certainly slept most of the time. He was actually amazed to see her awake. He watched her chew on her toy as her doting father tried to encouraged her to speak.

Then a thought popped into Max's head. Since Alexis was his adopted granddaughter, she couldn't take the throne. Which meant his son had yet to spawn an heir. Elias and Megan had been married for a while, so why had they not had a kid of their own yet? These thoughts bugged Max. And Max, not having that wondrous device between his brain and his mouth, doesn't think before he says something.

"Elias." He attempt to get his son's attention.

"Yes dad?" Elias replied as he looked up at his dad.

"Why don't you and Mega have any kids?" Max asked. Elias gave him a 'what the fuck?' look as he held up his daughter. "No, I mean a child conceived by you and Megan."

Elias once again gestured towards his daughter. "Dad say hello to Alexis. Alexis say hi to grandpa Max!" He tried his best to smile as he held his daughter in his arms. He holds one of Alexis' hands in his hand and waves to his father.

"Not what I'm getting at." Max stated. "Alexis is from Megan's first marriage. Since Alexis isn't of your decent, she can't take the throne. I'm asking why you and Megan haven't had a kid between you two."

"We have Alexis." Elias stated.

Max hit his face with the palm of his hand. "Okay. Let me re-word this for you." He looked at his son seriously. "Are you and Megan planning on having another kid? You know, one that can take the throne.

Elias sat there dumbfounded for a moment. He looked at his daughter who was giggling as she kicked her legs. Then his blue eyes floated up to his father's awaiting gaze. "We haven't even considered having more children." Elias replied.

"Are you two even having sex?" Max asked.

"Daddy!" The king of the Republic of Acorns shrieked. His face turning bright red. He couldn't believe his father had the audacity to ask that with a straight face.

The three girls poked their heads out of the kitchen. "What's going on in here?" Alicia asked. She noticed her son's brightly flushed face. Max was awaiting an answer from him as he strummed his fingers against the arm of his wheel chair. "Max?" She said in a stern tone.

"We're just talking." Max replied, his gaze never leaving his son's.

"Okay." Alicia gave her husband a stern look. "Don't embarrass him too much."

"I won't." Max answered. The girls went back into the kitchen. Max continued to stare his son down. "Can I ask why you two aren't fucking?"

"Wha?" Elias' blush grew brighter. "But I never said we weren't?"

"Well, you didn't respond, so I took that as a no." Max stated matter-of-factly. "Is it because she cock blocks you?" He gestured to Alexis. "I wouldn't think she could with how soundly and how much she sleeps. But children tend to be evil like that."

"Daddy!" Elias cried as he turned completely red. "This is not an appropriate conversation!"

"Elias, I am your father." Max stated seriously. "It is perfectly natural for fathers and sons to talk about this."

"In what zone!?" Elias retorted as he laid Alexis on her stomach so she could get some tummy time.

"In this one. Every dad does it. Go ask around if you need to. Take a survey if you want. I'd love to see the results." Max gave him this smirk that just screamed, 'I win.' "Now, back to the topic of your sex life which, to me, seems nonexistent." Elias hit his face with the palm of his hand. He'd just have to admit defeat. "Now, there are a few possibilities as to why this is. The most likely one is Alexis is cock blocking you. Another is you're incompetent." Elias gave his father a death glare. "It's a possibility. Don't kill me for speculating. My bed room is across the hall form yours and I have yet to hear anything from your room at any time."

"And that's why. You and mom are across the hall." Elias glared at his dad, finally opening up a bit.

"What's wrong with us being across the hall?" Max questioned.

"It makes doing things more awkward." Elias stated. "Think about it from our point of view. We wouldn't want to hear you, and you wouldn't want to hear us. We're being polite. Plus we already have a sweet little angel." He gestured towards Alexis, who was trying to reach a rattle that he had placed in front of her. She wasn't able to crawl yet, but for this tiny rattle, she would. She began kicking her legs rapidly and flailing her arms. She soon rolled over. Her daddy picked up the rattle and shook it in front of her. Alexis reached for it and Elias happily gave it to her. "And she's a very sweet little angel."

"You spoil that little girl rotten." Max stated. "But you still owe me another grandchild though."

"Dad! Drop it, please!" Elias begged. "You already have one grandkid. Can't you be content with that?"

"Yes. She's very cute and adorable." Max agreed. "But I still want a grandkid from you that can take the throne. Plus, Alexis could use a little sibling. She'll have someone to play with."

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm just grateful to have one little baby." He picked up Alexis. "And besides I seriously doubt I can handle two kids."

"Fine. You've forced my hand." Max shrugs. "Megan!" He calls into the kitchen. "I'll baby sit Alexis tomorrow night. You and Elias here need to have a talk about giving me and Alicia another grandkid."

Megan nearly dropped the dish she was holding. Her jaw hung open. She looked over at her sister and mother-in-law. "Did he just?" The brown hair squirrel began but couldn't finished. Sally seemed equally confused and shocked.

Alicia rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Max." She struggled to hide her laugh. "Don't you need to ask me if I'll babysit first?"

"What do you mean?" Max gave her a confused look. "I can watch her. Babies aren't that hard to take care of."

"Max, I seriously doubt you can handle a little girl all by yourself." Alicia stated.

"Yes I can. She's tiny. She can't crawl away yet, so she can't get far. She drinks milk, which we have plenty of in the fridge. Plus she sleeps most of the time. Watching her will be a piece of cake!" Max stated with over confidence.

"Dad." Elias began. "I love you. I'm grateful that you're still alive and all. But trust me, babies are not that easy to care for. You'll have her for 15 minutes tops and then you'll realize just how wrong you are."

"I can so handle a baby." Max declared.

"Sure." Elias nodded as he picked up Alexis. "You can handle a baby and I can cook good food."

"Do I detect sarcasm from you?" the older squirrel questioned.

"Here, have a trial run." Elias placed Alexis in her grandfather's lap. "Don't drop my baby." Elias moved his father's hands where he could hold her properly. "If you can take care of her by yourself for 15 minutes, you win and I'll admit that you're right. If you can't, then I win and you will never bring up this topic ever again."

"I'll bring it up in two weeks if I lose. I'm determined to have my way." Max replied. Elias rolled his eyes. There was no way he was going to get his dad to drop it was there.

[][][][][]

_**11/23/2012 Deathy:**_ I finished this one shot. So enjoy! No, I do not have a decent title for it, but hey. I wrote something. It's actually the first time I've written Elias, or anyone in the Acorn family other then Sally, so I hope I did well. So I hope you all enjoy it! Please _**READ & REVIEW!**_


End file.
